09 December 2009

Presumed Super Secret Unofficial Honourary Chair of Super Secret Unofficial Second List Group Finally Speaks Out

Like a cheap Tiger Woods mistress hungry for her fifteen minutes of infamy, the purported Super Secret Unofficial Honourary Chair of the FEI's Super Secret Unofficial Society finally came out of the woodworks yesterday to beg for mercy. IJRC President Rodrigo Pessoa "officially" got into the mix with an urgent plea for clemency in desperate need of editing by a native English speaker. Pessoa and presumed Super Secret Unofficial Honourary Vice Chair Ludger Beerbaum urged against the NFs' reconsideration of their insufficiently-noticed-and-thus-illegitimate decision on the very-likely-not-Bureau-approved-and-thus-additionally-illegitimate last minute addition to the General Assembly agenda.

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Next To Get Sacked By The FEI

Lisa Lazarus: We're sorry but this poor woman looked like a deer in the headlamps the whole time at the Clean Sport forum. They really should tell people what they're getting themselves into before they move them to a foreign country only to find out they have been conned.

Alex McLin: Far too unmotivated by anything but money to get himself fired.

John Roche: How this hothead has managed to last this long under Haya's reign of terror we will never understand. And even got selected to be on an "ethics" panel! That is rich.

Catrin Norinder: It's her life; we'll leave her alone.

Graeme Cooke: Earnest, appears well meaning. Made the mistake of answering a simple question honestly at the Clean Sport forum. This might not end well.

Fran├žois Luther: Will be there until he dies. That rollkur hate mail must be keeping him very busy.

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HRH Long Overdue To Fire Someone; David Holmes Gets the Honour

As first reported by Horse and Hound. Some seem to be confused and think this is really, truly "mutual," so a quick Bullshit-to-English translation guide is useful for these FEI "departure" announcements:

"departure" = sacked
"mutual agreement" = sacked + cash to keep quiet
"denied any fallout" = fallout, and...sacked
"abrupt" = sacked
"out of the blue" = sacked
"shocked" = sacked
"adjustments to the management structure" = told HRH what she didn't want to hear (truth, reason, common sense, statutes, etc.), a/k/a sacked
"we are very sorry to lose him" = sacked
"we are thankful for his contributions" = sacked
"we wish him well with all his future endeavours" = sacked
"I've made a real difference" = EXTRA sacked
"financial reasons" = something other than financial reasons
"no disagreement over the bute issue" = disagreement over the bute issue

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