The Carrot: Our Bad: Latawnya The Naughty Horse Two Is Already Out There

And on Facebook! Complete with a devil horse wearing jeans, and lots of compliments from the author's kids. But there are no dramatic readings or copies on Amazon.com, maybe she wised up and only had enough printed for her immediate family. It appears that the real life Latawnya might be the author's youngest daughter, who must have screwed up big time if she got turned into a horse and called out in bound print by her own mother. Wow! Tough love, indeed. What did parents do before there were vanity publishers willing to produce the worst children's book ever, for a fee?

The enticing preview of Latawnya Two from Amazon:

Latawnya The Naughty Horse Two points out the low life drug pusher. The pusher tries to entice everyone to use drugs and drink alcohol. Latawnya Two is an anti-drug children's picture book. It teaches children there are better activities to do with their lives than drinking alcohol and using drugs. Latawnya finds many different good and positive activities to do to make her life better. She has already learned her lesson the hard way to stay away from drinking alcohol and using drugs. Latawnya and two of her friends will see the back of a low life who is trying to hook everyone on drugs. He tries to entice them to use cocaine and meth, but they laugh at him. They let him know he can take his drugs and go. They also let him knows they have better activities to do than using drugs. Latawnya and her friends are on the basketball team. There will be a big talent show. Everyone will audition. Someone will create a beautiful original song and dance. Look out for Latawnya The Naughty Horse - Three. Spooky finally meets his match.

Here's an even better dramatic interpretation of Latawnya One from earlier this year, I think the accent really improves it.

Almost funnier than the book itself is that the author appears to be full-on obsessed with ending the lucrative resale market for this unintentional cult classic, randomly posing ~~legal accusations~~ questions to Amazon.com on the interweb:

sylviagibson53 Asked:
Amazon.com name the person who gave you permission to publish and sell my book and use my name illegally.

amazon.com what is the person name who gave you permission to publish, and sell my book Latawnya The Naughty Horse and use my name illegally all over the internet in different countries all over the world without my permission?

I am not connected to my book at all on the internet. The devil got my book. I am going to take it back with the help of God.

She might be certifiable. But we do admire her pluck in proceeding with Latawnya Two and Three. And of course, there is nothing wrong with the message itself, so all you kids out there who shouldn't even be reading The Carrot to start with, Don't Do Drugs! And visit HaHaHorses instead, where there is plenty of kid-friendly fun to be had!

I don't know how I missed Latawnya the first time around...was I not on the same Internet in 2007?