26 February 2010

RK/HF/LDR/WTF Claims Another Life*

First the RK/HF/LDR/WTF scourge snatched the beloved, sport-transcending mare Blue Hors Matiné (DEN), even as she enjoyed her retirement frolicking in a field with her friend Blue Hors Cavan, after years of undeveloped potential certainly all caused by the RK/HF/LDR/WTF*. Now it has taken the top stallion Gribaldi (NED), whose aorta was no doubt weakened by all that RK/HF/LDR/WTF*.

Gribaldi's most famous son Moorlands Totilas movingly dedicated his recent winning performance at Neumünster to his fallen sire and hero. At the press conference following the show, Mr. Totilas commented, "I'm not sure how I feel about the RK/HF/LDR/WTF now. I love how the crowds respond to my flamboyant goosetepping which is no doubt a side effect of the RK/HF/LDR/WTF*, but I don't want to develop heart problems because of it. Especially since I'll be losing my artificial virginity soon. I'll have to talk to Edward. But right now, I just want to remember my dad."

Mr. Totilas stopped taking questions and turned to leave the room, until a journalist from St. Georg demanded, "Is that tear in your eye really for your father, or is that from the RK/HF/LDR/WTF?" Mr. Totilas then began to sob outright, flinging horse snot all over everyone, and his people quickly ushered him back to his stables. The question remains unanswered, so look for an upcoming feature in St. Georg where we're sure they'll have definitive proof that RK/HF/LDR/WTF makes horses cry, and no one will get sued.

*according to some folks on the Internet. True story.

Subscribe in a reader

Subscribe by email