Just Read Eventing Nation

Superstar guest writer JER tries out modern pentathlon in the latest from our favorite real media site/comedy challenger. She is a very entertaining writer. Plus Eventing Nation gives us a lot of business so we have to suck up to them.

A heated debate ensues about the siting of the penalty box and as it intensifies, the organizers ask for a show of hands to vote on locations. I don't have an opinion because, until now, I didn't know there was a penalty box or how one ends up in it. But hey, this is Canada and we all know Canadians love a penalty box.

Like JER, our experience with modern pentathlon is limited to watching appalling riding at the Olympics every four years. It's funny when one thinks of all the agony equestrian sport goes through worrying about not being popular enough to stay in the Olympics. Then you think about something like pentathlon, where people who have never done the sport before make it to a national championship and even manage to write funny blog posts about it at the same time, and wonder how they manage to continue to exist at all. But I think these tiniest of sports get a lot of pity votes, because everyone knows if they go out of the Olympics, that's really it for them. There's definitely a bleeding heart vibe there. Pentathlon in particular also has a major legacy element with the Baron de Coubertin connection. Plus they just use everyone else's facilities. What's not to like?

In other news, our constituency has spoken; The Carrot is encouraged to remain underground. Maybe y'all know something we don't. But. . .it would have been so much fun:

The Carrot: So, how'd the meeting go?
Dressage judge: What meeting?
The Carrot: The one where you decided on the placings.
Dressage judge: Security!!!

Just light, harmless fun.

And what happened to the one vote for "Fuck The Carrot?" Somebody voted FTC and then came back a couple days later and changed it!!! WTF? At least make a commitment to it. We're disappointed.

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And The London 2012 Mascot Is . . . A Cyclops

The London 2012 mascots have been unveiled, one for the Olympics and one for the Paralympics.

"Organizers hope the mascots will receive a more positive reaction than the London 2012 logo, which was widely panned when it was unveiled in 2007 and was even blamed for triggering seizures among some television viewers."

"We've talked to lots of children and they don't want cuddly toys," London 2012 organizing committee chairman Sebastian Coe said. "They want something they can interact with and something with a good story behind it." Well it's definitely not cuddly.

They put out a video that is even more bizarre than it is cheesy. Maybe this will all make sense with some really good pot.

Somewhere in America's Bible Belt, an evangelical preacher is furiously at work to decide which one is gay. And there's not a man-purse in sight.

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You Can't Make This Stuff Up, Part II

Are the Olympics ready for...Pole Dancing?
IOC recognition is only a matter of time, say the sport's advocates

"'There will be a day when the Olympics see pole dancing as a sport,' she said.

'The Olympic community needs to acknowledge the number of people doing pole fitness now. We're shooting for 2012.'"

The Carrot avers that a large percentage of the IOC membership are highly supportive of pole dancing already! But we think in this case they'd like to not mix business with pleasure.

"Pole dance advocates note that more unlikely sports have gotten the IOC's nod.

Tug of war, for example, was one of the early Olympic medal contests. Equestrian events are in the Olympics, but who owns a horse?"

Probably more people than own a stripper pole?

"But some pole dancers worry the sensual side of pole dancing, and its counterculture undertones, would be destroyed in an effort to clean it up for the Olympics."

You can't make this stuff up is looking like it will become a regular feature on The Carrot. It sure does save us time.

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